Getting a girl’s number is actually a very simple process. You walk up to a girl, talk for a few minutes, then ask for her number. Contrary to what you may believe, it isn’t actually rocket science
A good interaction when Crusading After Dark should last about fifteen to twenty minutes. Less than that and you increase your likelihood of getting a phone number that either doesn’t convert into a date or leads to a surprised sounding gentleman who says he ‘doesn’t know a Melanie’.
Having the initial meeting go for longer than twenty minutes is fine if the interaction is still escalating and fun.
There are far more variables when Daylight Crusading so a good interaction can last anything from less than five minutes to over an hour. But as a general rule- just like paid sick leave- the longer it goes for the better.
Stay talking to a lady for as long as it takes to get her phone number. When you first start speaking to women, you will have something I call ‘premature eject-ulation’. This involves walking away from women you’re talking to without asking for their numbers, with no particular reason why you didn’t. All too often I see guys walking away from a girl that seems clearly interested. Instead you must stay until you either get the girl’s number or she tells you to piss off. This is hugely beneficial. Most learning occurs in the awkward moments. If you have an easy interaction where everything goes well, you don’t learn a damn thing. But if you are running out of things to say, she is losing interest fast, or things are generally difficult for you THEN you are learning.
If you are in the habit of leaving at the slightest provocation, you are wasting potential learning opportunities. I see lots of guys go out, talk to ten women, get no phone numbers, and never learn a thing- simply because they left their interactions way too early.
Fear of rejection will sometimes inhibit you from asking ladies for their numbers – especially women that seem intimidating. Ask EVERY girl you talk to for her number. Expect that you will get rejected but with experience, you will get better at getting phone numbers and the rejections won’t seem so bad. You will even find yourself laughing with your Cohorts about who got rejected the worst. Expect to get rejected, be pleasantly surprised when you don’t, but always ask – no excuses.
Have you ever been talking to a girl and started thinking to yourself “I want to get this girl’s number…I wonder how I should ask for it…?” I know I’ve had that thought many times and it often causes hesitation and confusion. To combat this, you want to have a clear idea of how you’re going to ask for it. A natural way to get a lady on a date is to get to know what she likes and doesn’t like. So ask questions like “have you been to...?” or “have you seen...?” or “do you like...?”, then talk about a related activity or event.
Telling her about a café you like is much better than telling her about this masked ball you coincidentally have a spare ticket to. The more formal it is, the more pressure she’s going to feel.
When you see her get interested or excited about an event/activity, say ‘Let’s totally go there sometime.’ When she agrees, you’ll say something like “give me your number” or “let’s exchange numbers” or “what’s the best way to contact you?”, or even just hand the girl your phone and say “put your number in”.
Most girls will give you their number if you ask for it confidently and expectantly. However every now and then, a girl will say something like “I don’t give out my number to strangers” or something similar. Instead of letting this be a deal-breaker, use it as an opportunity to show your persistence by saying something to reassure her that you are a cool guy. This is what she wants you to do anyway - let her know that it’s safe to give you her number and that you are worthy of her time. To do this you can pretty much say ”That’s cool. I understand and I feel the same way as you, but you seem like a cool person and I’d like to get to know you better”. AND REMEMBER TO SMILE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER WHEN YOU DO.
If for some reason she still doesn’t bite, give her some more time and ask her once more in a cheeky way. I would say something like ‘You know you’re going to give me your number eventually, don’t you?’ If she really wants to, she’ll laugh and give you her number –because persistence is sexy to a woman.
As an absolute last resort, go for an e-mail or Facebook exchange if she’s really that hesitant to give you her number, as these are less personal forms of contact that she may be more comfortable with.
Once you get her number, ask her this question in a fun, teasing way, ‘You’re not one of those girls that never replies or picks up her phone are you? If you are, I’m totally not giving you my number’. The girl will say something like ‘NO of course not’. She has now given you her word so you can count on the fact that she will reply to you.
This is playing on Cialdini’s ‘Principle of Commitment and Consistency’ which states that once people commit to doing something, it’s likely they will follow through- as they don’t want others to think of them as insincere. This means that by simply asking this question, she is very likely to answer your call or reply to your text message.
It’s much more natural for people to simply exchange numbers as opposed to you just asking for her number. By giving her your number, she knows who you are when you text/call and this takes out any confusion. It also gives you the opportunity to flirt right away without having to let her know who you are. You can do this easily by saying ‘I’ll call your number so that you have my number’. This is a normal thing to do.
EG “We are totally going to window shopping for lava lamps. Here, let me give you my number. (Give her your number) Cool, what’s yours?”.
At some point the interaction needs to either move somewhere or end, so you want to lead it either to an instant date or to a nice farewell before it gets boring and loses its magic. Ideally, you want to leave the interaction when it’s at its peak, so the girl remembers it as fun and interesting. This will increase the likelihood of her coming out on a date with you.
I would probably suggest at this point that if you have her number, you should kiss her goodbye on the cheek. This will establish come comfortable touching, and we like people who touch us that little bit more.
If you have forgotten her name, ask her how it’s spelt when writing her number down. If it’s a simple name, tell her you like to double check because some people get offended when you spell their names wrongly. Ideally, you want to start using her name as soon as possible in conversation. The more times you say her name, the more her name will stick in your head.
Girl: My name is Lisa.
Damien: Cool, so Lisa, what do you do with yourself?
Girl: I’m a nurse.
Damien: Awesome, do you love what you do Lisa?
Girl: Yes, it’s what I’ve always wanted to do.
Damien: That’s awesome, it’s really great to meet someone that loves what they do. I remember this nurse the last time I was in hospital. Funnily enough, her name was Lisa too.
Girl: Why were you in hospital?
Damien: Well Lisa, I was attacked by this leopard…
If you’re half-way through the interaction and have forgotten her name - give her a nickname. If she is short, I might call her ‘Shortycakes’. If she asks if you’ve forgotten her name, reply with ‘Yeah- but honestly, I prefer Shortycakes for you because its unique and only I can call you by that name. So yeah, I forgot your actual name. I will call you Shortycakes from now on’. Put her name down on your phone as Shortycakes. Most women will find it amusing and will forgive you. Some women will go on to give you nicknames and neither of you will have to worry about real names for the near future.
Asking for her number
Talk for as long as possible with 3 women
Find an activity or event to take a girl to on a date so you know what to say when asking for the girl’s number
Ask every woman you talk to in a 2 hour period for her number unless she has a partner to tells you to go away
Write down how you will ask the lady for her number
Write down your backup plan- persist three times in a fun way
Think about how you will end talking to a lady
Use the lady’s name 3 times when talking to every woman in a 2 hour period