About School Of Attraction
School of Attraction Was Founded On A Revolutionary Idea...
...Teaching pickup by focusing on self confidence. No lying, pretending or manipulating women
Meet Damien, the Founder
In 2008, Damien created a strategy to date women that was based on the strategies he used to overcome his Severe Generalised Anxiety Disorder.
He read hundreds of self help books and found, completely by accident that his strategies made him feel great about himself and he was getting more success than anyone else in the pickup community.
Read Damien's Full Story ^
It all starts awkwardly...
I am fifteen years old, and attending one of the most expensive and prestigious high schools in the country.
As an all boys school filled with testosterone, the closest thing we had to female interaction was our 70 year old latin teacher Mrs Doherty...
I was also a rower. Rowing was a school sport and meant all the rowers were the coolest, most popular boys in the whole school.
Except for me that is.
Every lunch hour, my not-so-cool friends and I would race to the computer room like bishops to a nunnery trying to get the fastest computer.
If I got it, I would be the king of the computer room that day.
Being highly intelligent and sporty meant that my social groups were at odds with each other. I was a ‘cool rower’ and a ‘complete nerd’ at the same time.
This meant that I didn’t really fit in anywhere.
My not-so-cool friends would organise LAN parties. Whole groups of us would congeal in someone’s basement with our computers, where amongst growing mountains of empty coke cans we’d play Warcraft until sleep deprivation drove us home days later.
The only girls present were those in the porn we shared...
Despite being a rower, I was never invited to the ‘cool’ sports parties where there’d actually be real girls around.
One day when I was sixteen, word got around that there was a rowing
party and all the rowers were invited.
Whoever sent that word around must’ve forgotten not to invite me.
Desperate to look cool, I procured some alcohol and drunk myself stupid that night. All I could remember was my mother picking me up from that party and torturing me by trying to get me to say tongue twisters on the drive home.
The next morning it felt like my head had been trampled by a stampede of prehistoric megafauna.
But beyond the sledgehammer thudding, out of my pocket I pulled a scrap of paper with a phone number on it.
I had no memory of ever being given it, but lo and behold there it was...
I dialled the number nervously, heard the ringing that seemed to go on forever and Hallelujah!- there was a real girl on the other end!
Heart thumping, voice cracking and palms sweating we started talking to one another.
I had no idea what I was doing, but somehow, she liked me and we started dating.
Quickly, I noticed the girl was very intelligent as I for one could never win an argument against her.
She could talk a medicated erection into standing down, and all that ball-busting experience eventually came in handy as she is now a successful lawyer.
Regardless of this, our relationship started out fantastic. My parents taught me to always treat a lady well so I would do whatever she asked of me.
I fulfilled her every wish, every single time.
But after eighteen months, everything began to go downhill.
I could see she started to lose respect for me and treated me badly. The more I fulfilled her every wish, the more unreasonable her wishes became.
After two years of dating, I decided I had suffered enough.
I sat her down one day and told her I couldn’t do it anymore, I wanted out.
I’ll never forget the look on her face. She thought about it for a second, then looked me dead in the eye and said, ‘NO’.
So we dated for another two years.
Eventually after nearly four years, she finally broke up with me.
This breakup was absolute agony. The whole relationship was a merry-
go-round that left me raw with huge amounts of resentment and anguish.
So much so that soon after, I developed Severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
I began to have severe panic attacks that could be triggered by anything.
If I walked up the stairs too fast, I was scared I’d have a heart attack.
If I didn’t re-clean a glass before drinking out of it, I was terrified that I’d contract some sort of microbial disease.
I wouldn’t get far before I’d have a panic attack about something so I was trapped in my room for six long painful months.
My only solace during that time was my DJ kit, and over time I became a decent disk jockey.
I played most nights to a polite audience - mum and dad.
When I started to become claustrophobic in my room and couldn’t take it anymore, I begged my parents to take me to the hospital.
When they did, I was referred to some psychiatrists and as expected, they did what they do best – prescribe anti depressants.
Being on anti depressants, my mood definitely changed.
I no longer felt severely depressed. The problem was that I felt like I cared about nothing, so much so that I started to treat friends and family horribly to the point that I started stealing from them.
I wasn’t me at all and I didn’t like who I was becoming.
Realising it wasn’t worth it, I made the hard decision to come off the anti depressants and as expected, I was trapped in my bedroom once again suffering panic attacks.
Motivated to find a permanent answer, I read every self-help book I could find.
I read psychology books, motivational books, NLP books, Anthony Robbins’ books, even religious books such as the Bible, Quran, and various Buddhist texts.
I went on to try emotional freedom techniques, behavioral analysis techniques, neuro-linguistic programming techniques, ACT therapy techniques, and anything else I could get my hands on to try and put myself back together.
Piece by piece, I put together a system from these books that got me out of my bedroom.
When I finally did get out of my bedroom, all those special concerts I organised for mum and dad paid off and I got work at a bar as a DJ.
As most of you are aware, being a DJ attracts female attention like your grandmother’s clothing attracts hipsters.
Not being the exception, ladies literally threw themselves at me and I didn’t know how to handle it.
One night, a woman approached me at the podium, ‘Hey, how’s your night going?’ she said. ‘I’m Shona. Do you want to come back to my place after you finish work?’
Scared out of my wits, I snuck out the back door of the club that night.
I couldn’t deal with all the pressure.
I was getting out there and taking some steps in the right direction but my confidence was nowhere near where it needed to be.
A few weeks later, this guy started working at the bar where I worked. We got to talking and became friends.
He was a corporate lawyer who just wanted to have heaps of fun.
When we hit the town together he literally pushed me to walk over to the ladies with him, then introduce me and walk away, leaving me there to talk on my feet.
He thought this was hilarious and I was so nervous most of the time, I would just fumble my words and stand there awkwardly looking around hoping he’d come back and put me out of my misery.
Eventually, I stopped being so nervous and got some success with consistent practice.
Women began responding positively to me and I started to date.
The only problem I faced was that my self-confidence was still very low.
I was confused about why, and there were a lot of questions I didn’t have answers to.
Even more confusing what that my friend, the corporate lawyer, was saying whatever he needed to say to get women into bed.
He was glib, had a silver tongue, and was perfectly happy to lie, cheat and manipulate.
If he thought something would bring a girl into his bed, he did it.
I can now admit that I did the same thing then.
At that point in my life, I was furious at all women. I still carried the festering wounds my first girlfriend had left me with.
Women were all bitches- that’s how I thought back then. So naturally, I did the same things as my friend- I learned to lie, cheat and manipulate like the best of them.
After a few months of loving and leaving women, an old friend recommended a book to me called ‘The Way of The Superior Man’ by David Deida.
As I started reading this book, my stars started aligning and each of my questions were getting answered one by one.
The book talked about what it (truly) meant to be a real man. It’s not a chauvinistic book as the title may suggest; but rather it talks about how a superior man is one who is straightforward, doesn’t lie, and always keeps to his word.
It struck a chord with me in the most profound way and continues to be my favorite book of all time.
A huge part of this book was also about appreciating women and acknowledging the amazing things a great woman can bring into a man’s life.
I loved everything about this book and I went on to find a community of men doing what is now called ‘Men’s Work’. I decided to do a life-changing course practicing Deida’s principles that turned my whole life upside down.
My feelings about women changed overnight. I cut out all lying, cheating and manipulating. Even my taste in women changed.
Previously I preferred sweet, easy-to-get-along-with blondes that weren’t terribly bright. Overnight, it changed into fiery, intelligent brunettes that were comfortable in their own skin and weren’t afraid to let their feelings be known.
Once I became completely honest, both with myself and with every- one around me, that’s when things really began to change.
Surprisingly, women started to trust me and always knew where I stood. It was refreshing to be real and genuine and to talk and act without pretences.
As an awesome side-effect, my confidence in myself shot through the roof – so much so that everyone around me started to sit up and take notice.
When it came to being real, I looked back at the months I spent reading self help books and utilised this to perfect my attraction process with women.
By using scientific methods, real-world practicality and testing, I came up with a process that worked beautifully.
Not only did it work beautifully, nobody was getting hurt along the way. Hallelujah!
When I uncovered a strong community of men that wanted to get better with women in my area, I started testing my process by teaching them my structure and seeing if this also worked for them.
At the time in 2008, I was a trainer at a large finance company and chose to teach guys about attracting women as a side project to let off some steam – for free of course.
In three months, I realized I really loved it.
My honesty structure was really taking off and getting fellas real results.
I took a leap of faith and quit my job to pursue this passion.
In three months, it became the largest dating coaching company in Australia for men.
I believe it became this way because finally, men were able to be honest and stop the games.
No man truly likes to hurt women and here I was offering a way fellas could get what they wanted and nobody would need to get hurt as a result.
We thought that was pretty neat and our results speak for themselves.
Over the years, I've taught exceptional students how to be exceptional coaches and expanded the company worldwide.
But our value system remains the same - intensive courses for long term results.
Phew it's hard to recount all the painful and awkward memories but I hope it's useful to give you some perspective.
I still struggle with anxiety sometimes but that doesn't stop me from living my best life.
I wish the same for you.
Everyone Started Noticing How Good He Was
Pretty soon, guys in the community wanted to know his secrets. He started helping guys for free and more guys would keep coming to him for advice. It was pretty clear quickly that his methods were working gangbusters and going completely against the pick up artist methodologies that was pretty popular at the time.
It Was Clear That Men Needed A Better Pickup Course
Men were frustrated by not being able to get girls but the only teaching available were pick up artist methods which taught to put women down and seriously unethical tactics that lowered self confidence in these men as they became painfully aware that they couldn't be themselves and get women to like them.
In 2009, Damien Met Dee
Damien met Dee on a night he was coaching. They were both starting new businesses and helping each other out. They started dating.
Dee Became A Cofounder
She realised that it would be much easier if they both worked on one startup together. She suggested they both quit their jobs and work on one business. School of Attraction became the business simply due to Damien's passion for helping guys. She manages business development and marketing.
They Moved In With His Parents
They quit their jobs and moved in with his parents for 3 months. They worked their butts off. They didn't know anything about business but were determined to succeed.
Our 13 Week Course Became Hugely Popular
We are the only coaching company focusing on long term results. And it didn't take long for everyone to notice.
Our Book Sincere Seduction Won The Bronze Medal In The Wishing Shelf Awards
In 2013, a bunch of retired book judges awarded our book the bronze medal. It was such an honour for a dating book to get this kind of attention. Even today, it is still one of the best books out there on dating and attraction.
We Launched Our Successful Youtube Channel Getting Millions Of Views
In 2017, we turned our attention to Youtube, garnering millions of views on dating and self development.
We Started Offering Online Courses Worldwide
In 2017, we started catering to students outside of Sydney, Australia by creating online courses that can be done at home.
All Of Our Courses Became Guaranteed.
All of our courses have a money back guarantee. If you do the course in full and notice no improvement, we will give you your money back. Simple as that.
Class Clown, Serial Monogamist, Late Bloomer
“I could make any product as desirable as 3am kebab to a piss head”
Until 28, Denzel went through life floundering from one relationship to another – always feeling like his connections with women were more of a coincidence, often ending very badly.
He read Damien’s book ‘Sincere Seduction’ and used these strategies to get a free upgrade to first class on a long-haul flight. The idea that his life would significantly improve with learning dating skills quickly turned into a stubborn belief.
Change happened steadily and quickly – friends and family noticed the improvements.
He found a new appetite for life and focuses on using the same stubborn beliefs to bring out the best in the students he coaches.
Read Denzel's Full Story ^
Hi I’m Denzel, Dating Coach here at SOA
I grew up a bit of a class clown, someone who really didn’t connect with any of the group stereotypes usually found in a school. I had a flare for creativity, so once I left high school, I found myself studying design and eventually jumping into the realm of advertising.
At the age of 22 I dabbled with stand up comedy for a year and realised that I was also a very curious person. People’s stories and a lateral perspective on life, made for great entertainment.
I would later find out out that this would help me in a new role as an Art Director, which I loved, and also in the world of dating.
Until the age of 28 I went through life as a serial monogamist, floundering from one long term relationship to another.
I never really dated and my real connections with women always felt like a coincidence, more than a conscious decision, and that came with some disastrous results.
Despite a sound understanding of the advertising world as both a designer and art director, my ability to translate my skills were poor.
Give me a product, give me a target market, give me some insights and I could make any product as desirable as 3am kebab to a piss head.
Give me a woman and I’d be able to make her laugh at best and somehow get stuck in a relationship, whether I wanted to or not!
Little did I know, most women will test you again and again and again… and I had failed on multiple occasions with girls that I had somehow managed to get into a relationship with.
I compromised my own principles and crossed lines I had told myself I wouldn’t cross on multiple occasions, It was a part of me I would come to detest.
Despite having been “done wrong by” from women in past, I decided to take responsibility for my life and change the calibre of women entering it; choice was what I wanted.
I had been familiar with “The Game” and the PUA industry, though felt that I would have had to change who I was fundamentally to succeed using these methods. It felt a little sleazy, it didn’t feel right.
Though, after seeing an interview of Damien on ‘pedestrian.TV’ I felt like this was my brand of seduction, more than anything else I had read.
I told my flatmate about him and we spend the next hour discussing the pro’s and cons… “f**k it, let’s call him” Damien met with us three days later. He ran through some scenarios and answered all our questions, it was impressive.
I was to start in January because of a trip to the states in november.
So, Damien gave me his book to read on my trip.
Excited about the skills I would learn, I chewed through the book in just under 16hrs on the flight to San Francisco.
I would then start approaching girls using all that I had recently learnt with small, but very significant improvements.
The second girl I spoke to happen to but an air hostess on my connecting flight from San Francisco to New York City. I started in coach and ended up in first class, purely through the conversation we had in a very small period of time.
The idea that my would life would significantly improve with these new skills, had quickly turned into a stubborn belief.
This belief fuelled every interaction and every lesson, every moment of study and quashed all the doubts I had prior to taking the course.
Despite the peaks and troughs, I knew there was always more to learn on the other side of a rut.
This meant I had to surround myself with like-minded people and look out for new friends (that I still have to this day) from the course.
It was time to make this change a permanent one, with habitual improvement.
Improvement that would last would last well beyond the 13 weeks the course took.
Friends, family and colleagues all took the time to mention my change (independently) after the course; it was obvious. I had found a way to show my better, more confident side to women ….
Actually, to everybody.
The anxiety that usually clouded my judgment when approaching life’s challenges, turned into excitement and anticipation.
I had truly found a new appetite for life.
As a coach at SOA, I look to bring out the fire in all our students and help them get the most out of themselves, as I know we all have some much to offer, especially to women.
I was very much a late bloomer in all areas in my life, especially women.
Decided To Get His Life Together At 22
“Other people seem to get girlfriends without coaching, so why do I need help like this?”
All of Ryan’s friends had settled down or moved on, leaving him without any social circle.
After a year of being single and lonely, he finally decided that something needed to be done.
He enrolled soon after and over time, his confidence and skill became so good that he was dating very attractive girls – he was loving life!
He still made plenty of mistakes, but with coaches still guiding him, he was able to correct his mistakes quickly and keep progressing rapidly.
He applies the same principles for coaching students by putting everything into it and self-reflecting after every session to uncover what he can do better next time.
Read Ryan's Full Story ^
When I turned 21, it was the best year of my life! After I turned 22, I had to get serious (I was told). No more massive parties, get a job, finish uni and be more responsible.
This resulted in me going through an early life crisis. I developed a massive fear of death and dying and would scare myself to sleep at least 5 nights a week.
I was never clinically depressed but could go 6-7 days down in the dumps at a time. I spent all of my spare time watching TV and would go out clubbing once a week but would never talk to a girl.
A video on the Internet lead me to a pickup book and it worked like magic. Within 2 weeks, just by changing my body language, girls were checking me out.
As I improved I was going on a heap of dates but wasn’t getting many second dates and didn’t know how to get any better. This was terribly frustrating. Through this period I developed a lot of limiting beliefs.
I got the opportunity to go for one night out with Damien and that sold me. I signed up with money I didn't have and my results improved dramatically.
That wasn't the best part though. Eliminating my limiting beliefs and knowing exactly what I was doing wrong and what needed improving was the best thing I got out of the course. Not to mention my crushing fear disappeared completely.
Life keeps getting better and I've never been happier! Every 2 months I look back and am blown away by how much I have improved. The same happens with my students and it’s why I love coaching so much.
Married The First Girl That Showed Interest
“After school I was concentrating on my career, hoping that once I’m rich and successful, girls will throw themselves at me. Boy, how wrong was I!”
Andy was so desperate for ‘Love’ that he married the first girl that showed interest in him at 22 years old. Surprise, Surprise – it was a disaster from day one.
After divorce, he developed strong mistrust towards women which made him controlling and clingy so again, his second relationship ended.
After much self-pity, he enrolled in the course and his real pain began.
He realised how inexperienced he was in all aspects of dating and experienced many embarrassing and painful failures but with the help of the coaches & mentors, he was able to stand back up every time and keep pushing to the point where everything changed.
After 1.5 years of consistent growth, he started training to become a coach. He focuses on getting students to overcome anxiety, grow confidence and become great men.
Read Andy's Full Story ^
In general I always struggled with women, especially in my younger years.
Being originally from Russia and growing up in New Zealand it was difficult for me blending in at school. I had trouble approaching my classmates not to mention girls.
They were unattainable for me to say the least.
After school I was concentrating on my career, hoping that once I’m rich and successful girls will throw themselves at me.
Boy, how wrong was I!
After my 3rd year at Uni I was 21 and desperate. Most of my friends were partying, going clubbing, had girlfriends or had girls they slept with.
I felt like I missed out on my teen years, so I had to catch up in my 20s.
I guess I was so desperate for “love” that I blindly thought that I have to marry any girl that would like me, which is exactly what happened.
I got married at 22 and a new chapter of my life had begun. Although in most countries to get married at 22 is considered to be a bit too soon, in Russia however most people marry very young.
I felt that I finally had my life sorted: a good and fun career, a wife and a possible prospect of wealth.
Of course that didn’t pan out as I hoped it would. My marriage went haywire from day one and I couldn’t care less until it was too late.
Not having a lot of experience with women I couldn’t read what was going on in my relationship.
And she was using it to her advantage, perhaps not even realising that she was doing it to me.
Thinking back to it now I can see so many things that flagged a bad relationship from the beginning.
The whole experience did teach me a lot.
And some of those things were good and helped me to develop further in my life, but some were bad and created a big catastrophe in my next relationship.
I divorced my ex-wife after 5 years of marriage at the end of 2011 and moved to Sydney to restart my life.
I was 27 at the time and thought I would concentrate back on my career and just live for myself for a while.
And so I did for a year, but then I quickly realised that something was missing.
I craved a woman’s touch and warmth.
Although my marriage was a disaster, I had a lot of good memories.
And since it was my first experience with women I wanted to find someone who can replace some of the bad memories I had about my past relationship.
And then I found her.
Back when I was 8 years old in Russia I had a girlfriend.
She was my mum friend’s daughter, and because of that we used to hang out a lot as kids.
Right before my family migrated to New Zealand we were in our early teens and had a bit of silly kids romance going on, as kids would at that age.
When I was in New Zealand in our early days me and her were still keeping in touch and writing each other letters every week.
But over the years we lost contact, right around when I turned 20.
And I didn’t know what she was up to since then. That was until the beginning of 2013, when I accidentally stumbled across her account in social media.
We started chatting and quickly realised that we still have feeling towards each other. She lived in Saint Petersburg, Russia, so that created a problem in communication, but we decided it will not matter and we will overcome that hurdle.
When I was with her I felt like I was with an angel. She made me feel like a real man. And for the first time in my life I was in love. Even to the day I still have great memories about her and our relationship.
Unfortunately as they say: “nothing lasts forever” (especially good things) and so as it was with my relationship with her.
After my marriage has fallen apart I have developed strong mistrust towards women, which made me controlling and clingy.
“Long distance relationships never last.” – my friends would tell me, but I didn’t want to hear them, I was in love. The long distance did play its trick on me and over time I became paranoid.
Scared that I would lose her, I tried texting and calling her as much as I could. To the point where I would text 5 -7 times a day everyday and would call her at least once a day.
My constant control and clinginess drove her away from me. I couldn’t see it at the time and what I was mentally doing to her. She has a very patient character and so she kept on enduring my emotional attachment with her. How blind was I at the time.
Eventually after over a year of our relationship, she broke up with me over the phone.
I was crushed by what happened.
I felt like we were soul mates and even planned to marry her. That was the worst time of my life. I have fallen into a dark depression and even had thoughts of a suicide.
My life had been crushed to pieces.
Although it was a very dark point of my life I did learn from this experience, which helped me in my future endeavour.
After a long time of self-pity I have decided I need to educate myself on the subject of women and I needed to have a much stronger confidence with myself as a men.
My friend suggested that I would look in to pick-up community. He was originally from Russia, but came here already in his late 20 and had a lot of experience with girls.
He told me that in Russia it is a common skill that most men learn from various pick-up communities.
So I did a bit of research on the Internet and found a couple of places in Sydney, but most of them didn’t convince me, until I stumbled across Damien Diecke’s seminar on YouTube.
That seminar wasn’t about pick-up or getting good with girls. It was about happiness and what does it mean to be happy.
This is that seminar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSDkvuWppPM
The more I watched it the more it made sense to me. I’ve realized this is exactly what was missing in my life.
I immediately was hooked. I decided I would do his 12 weeks dating course, so signed up online.
For me Damien was this big confident “celebrity portraying” character that I knew (at the time) I would never live up to. I saw him as one of those celebrity speakers like Tony Robbins.
And so when my phone rang and heard his voice I was over the moon, I didn’t expect that Damien himself would ring me to arrange a meeting.
I thought maybe some of the representatives or assistants would make the arrangement. I was extremely honoured and baffled over this call.
After meeting him in person I was convinced without doubt, that this was a new turning point in my life.
The course started and the real pain began.
I knew that I was extremely inexperienced with women, but I couldn’t even imagine how inexperienced I was with approaching.
I remember my first approach at my first practical session, which for me was the first ever approach in my life. It was day time at Pitt Street Mall.
Nick, who was one of our coaches at the time, pushed me to approach this woman, who was rushing somewhere (possibly on her way to work) I had to jog to reach her.
I stopped her by gently touching her shoulder.
She stopped, turned around and looked at me.
She looked amazing.
I still have a very vivid memory of that.
I opened my mouth, took a big breath and nothing came out.
It’s like I was frozen in place.
Not a single muscle moved.
She looked at me like I was an idiot with one eyebrow raised up and kept on walking.
This was my first ever embarrassing approach, one of many as it turned out later.
Over the course of 13 weeks I had too many awkward and embarrassing moments to recall.
Likely with the guidance of our coaches and mentors I was able to stand back up every time and learn from every failure.
I had numerous one night stands and relationships during my course, but the real success started after I finished the course.
One of the rare opportunities that School Of Attraction offers is that you can stay with the community indefinitely.
So after the course I began going out with my friends from SOA and decided that I wanted to become a mentor.
A mentor is one of the ex-student who excelled in the course and want to give back to the community, by going out with new students as their support guy.
After a year and a half of mentoring I realised that I enjoy teaching and coaching new guys. I felt incredible every time I saw progress of one of my mentees get better and better.
So right then I knew I wanted to become a coach for School of Attraction, sharing my knowledge and experience with others.
They opportunity came in early 2016 and I began my training, which lasted around 7 months.
I have been coaching for a while now and had tremendous support from Damien and all the coaches that helped me to become who I am today.
I’m extremely grateful to School of Attraction, all the mentors and coaches for their help.
My life has changed forever.
I didn’t just get better with women and approaching but also became a better man. And now as a coach, I encourage my student to take initiative and realise their potential.
I teach them to overcome anxiety, grow their confidence and become great men.
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